Ten Years in the Palace: A Forgotten Identity

Ten years after transmigrating to this dynasty, I gradually forgot my original name, becoming just another ordinary concubine in the imperial harem.

I adapted to the morning greetings, the three kneelings and nine kowtows; I adapted to the clear class distinctions and the supremacy of imperial power. I became no different from the other people of this dynasty, but the Emperor hadn't visited me in a very long time.

1

The direct consequence of losing favor was insufficient winter coal for the palace. The inferior coal, once lit, filled the entire palace with choking smoke. So the palace had to be kept ventilated day and night, but the cold winds would blow in, and the coal wasn't warm enough, causing many in the palace to catch cold.

And because we were from my palace, we couldn't even get proper medicine - just one packet of medicinal dregs repeatedly boiled for several people to drink.

I had injured my foundation in my youth, so my constitution was weaker than most people's. A Qiao was afraid I would catch cold too, so every day except for morning greetings, she had me stay in bed.

In the Qingning Palace, where the New Year should have been approaching, there was only a somber atmosphere.

At dinnertime, A Qiao didn't come. Instead, a young maid under her brought the meal.

A plate of tofu, a plate of greens, and an unrecognizable cold pastry.

I ate absentmindedly, then suddenly put down my chopsticks and asked:

"Where's A Qiao?"

"Sister A Qiao isn't feeling well today, so she sent me to serve you, Your Highness."

I curled my lips into a smile and made as if to stand up:

"Oh, she's not well? Then I should go check on her."

The young maid was still young, and her emotions showed in her eyes. She panicked and knelt on the ground, telling me everything that had happened today:

"Sister A Qiao went to get food today and argued with the people in the Imperial Kitchen. She was slapped by someone from Consort Gui's palace."

"She was afraid you would see and feel sad, so she sent me instead."

I understood, took out some high-quality ointment, and had her bring it to A Qiao.

That night I thought about many things. The rise and fall of palace women depended on men, and the rise and fall of my people depended on me.

As a concubine without children, the only person I could rely on was Xiao Chengyan.

2

Early the next morning, as A Qiao was doing my hair, I asked:

"Is that jade hairpin the Emperor gave me still here?"

A Qiao hesitated for a moment, then asked:

"Why do you want it, Miss?"

I didn't speak. A Qiao rummaged through boxes and cabinets, finally finding the hairpin at the very bottom of a cabinet.

The year I had broken with Xiao Chengyan, I had smashed this hairpin into several pieces.

"Back then, Miss told me to throw away the hairpin, but I didn't dare throw away an imperial gift. I had a craftsman repair it with gold thread."

A Qiao placed the hairpin in my palm. I held it up to the light for a long time.

Time had passed, and even the fine mutton-fat jade had lost its luster, emitting an air of decay everywhere.

I tucked the jade hairpin into my robe and said to A Qiao:

"Come with me to the Plum Garden."

A Qiao carefully fastened my cloak and prepared a hand warmer for me before accompanying me to the Plum Garden.

The Plum Garden was something Xiao Chengyan had specially planted for me, but I hadn't been there since our breakup two years ago.

He came to the Plum Garden to enjoy the flowers every winter - this was a secret only I knew.

I left the hairpin he had personally carved for me under the plum tree we had planted together. As the wind blew, red plum blossoms fell one after another.

A Qiao finally understood what I wanted to do. She looked at me several times, then suddenly said:

Miss, you're not quite the same as before?

I thought for a long time and actually couldn't quite remember what I was like before, so I asked somewhat confusedly:

"Different how?"

She thought for a long time before saying:

"Before, Your Highness wouldn't do things like this."

As if thinking of something, she smiled again:

"Even when the Emperor came to your palace, it depended on your mood. When you got angry, you would even dare to kick the Emperor out."

She was clearly talking about me, but it sounded like she was talking about someone else.

So fearless, so vibrant and unrestrained.

3

That evening, Xiao Chengyan came to my palace, holding the jade hairpin.

Today I had specially worn blue, Xiao Chengyan's favorite color.

In the dim candlelight, the traces left by time on my face were obscured, and for a moment, it was truly like returning to the past.

Tonight Xiao Chengyan was unusually talkative, holding my hand and saying many things:

"Do you remember, you once said you came from a world a thousand years in the future."

"You said that in your era, everyone was equal, cars could fly in the sky, and women could study and take imperial examinations just like men."

He looked at me with great interest:

"Do you remember? Tell me more about it."

Images seemed to flash through my mind, but they passed quickly, leaving only a vast white expanse. After a long time, I said blankly:

"I don't remember anymore. Maybe I read it in some strange novel, just absurd talk."

Disappointment flashed in Xiao Chengyan's eyes. He looked at me for a long time before saying:

"You seem different from before."

Before I could answer, he had already turned away, his tone flat:

"Let's sleep."

In the morning, when the Emperor woke up, concubines were supposed to get up and help him dress in court attire.

As I was getting up, Xiao Chengyan pressed down on my shoulder:

"It's cold, you should sleep a bit longer."

"This wouldn't be proper. It's my duty as your concubine."

In the end, I still got out of bed, knelt on the floor, and fastened the court belt around Xiao Chengyan's waist.

He looked down at me thoughtfully, and for the second time said those words:

"You seem different from before."

As if thinking of some interesting past event, he suddenly laughed:

"Before, you wouldn't even get out of bed. If I disturbed your sleep, you could kick me right out of bed."

"Every morning when I woke up, I had to sneak around like a thief, holding my clothes to dress in the outer room."

I knelt on the ground, eyes downcast, and said respectfully:

"I was childish in the past. I won't be like that anymore."

Xiao Chengyan sighed and turned to leave.

Later that day, gifts of appreciation arrived at Qingning Palace.

Everyone in Qingning Palace was like a victorious general, all beaming with joy.

That evening, the high-quality coal that the Ministry of Internal Affairs had been withholding was replenished, and medicine for treating colds was also provided.

4

The next day when I went to pay respects to the Empress, she kept me behind after everyone else had left.

She used to see me as a thorn in her side, but now that she was older, she had actually become somewhat closer to me.

A concubine who had lost favor and had no children no longer posed any threat to her.

She sat at her dressing table, and I held a comb, combing her hair strand by strand.

Once-dark hair now mixed with a few gray strands. I had wanted to pull them out, but the Empress waved her hand:

"I've reached a certain age. I'm not a young girl of seventeen or eighteen anymore. The gray hair can't all be pulled out."

She looked at herself in the bronze mirror, then at me, and sighed:

"Both you and I are getting old. In the blink of an eye, we're thirty years old."

Perhaps because we were older, we couldn't help falling into nostalgic feelings. That day, the Empress told me many things about the past:

"When the late Emperor arranged the marriage, His Majesty refused because of you, preferring to kneel at the palace gate as punishment rather than marry me."

She laughed:

"I was furious at the time. I, the daughter of a general, couldn't compare to a mere maidservant like you?"

"That day, I heard you had gone hunting outside the city and rushed over angrily to teach you a lesson. But then I saw you in riding clothes, riding a very tall horse, coming through the apricot blossoms with the brilliant sun behind you."

"At that moment, I understood why His Majesty liked you. You had something that the women of the capital didn't possess."

I smiled somewhat blankly.

These days people kept telling me about the past, but the girl in my memory grew fainter day by day, and I couldn't remember many things clearly.

The Empress looked at me, her voice tinged with emotion:

"You seem a bit different from before."

This was the third time I had heard this phrase from someone else's mouth. I wondered if I had really changed that much?

When I left, the Empress gave me many good things, and her words carried more sincerity:

"In the spring, there will be another selection of palace maids. Sixteen or seventeen-year-old girls will make us seem even more old and faded by comparison."

"Rather than letting those young girls gain favor, it might as well be you."

"I'm serious. Dress yourself up nicely."

5

Xiao Chengyan came to my palace once a month, no more, no less - not enough to be overly favored, but not so little as to be forgotten, just enough to survive in the harem.

In the spring, new girls entered the palace.

The Empress was right. Sixteen or seventeen-year-old girls, in the flower of their youth, made people feel happier just looking at them.

Among them, one named Jiang Ran gained much favor, rising to the rank of Concubine in just six months - a unique favor in the harem.

She loved coming to my Qingning Palace, always calling me "sister, sister" sweetly.

A Qiao told me that Concubine Jiang was very much like the me of the past.

I looked carefully and saw that there were indeed some similarities in her eyebrows and eyes.

But she was like me yet not like me - her temperament was completely different from mine.

One was bright and brilliant, the other plain as water.

The only truth I had learned from living in the harem all these years was that all unreasonable enthusiasm harbored calculation.

So my attitude remained lukewarm. After meeting a few cold receptions, Concubine Jiang rarely came over.

In the blink of an eye, it was the Mid-Autumn Festival. Every Mid-Autumn Festival, the Emperor would invite court officials to celebrate the holiday together. So this festival was also a rare time for the women of the harem to see their families. Those with powerful maternal clans were often the focus of these banquets.

As a maidservant-born orphan without maternal relatives, I was just playing a supporting role.

The air in the hall was too stuffy, so I found an excuse to wander around the courtyard for a while.

A Qiao didn't follow me. I had her stay at her seat in case something happened and she could find me in time.

After sitting in the pavilion for a while, I hadn't gone far when a maidservant spilled water on my skirt.

She knelt on the ground, about to cry. My heart softened:

"Go find me a place to change clothes. I won't blame you."

She quickly kowtowed in thanks and led me to a room, saying she would go get clothes for me.

I remained cautious, not because I noticed anything wrong, but because I had suffered too many losses over the years and always left myself some room.

So I changed places to wait. Soon after, a shifty-eyed person entered the room I had originally been in.

I didn't make a sound but silently returned to the banquet along the shadowy areas.

When Concubine Jiang saw me, she obviously panicked for a moment.

The next day, I saw that little maidservant in Concubine Jiang's palace.

6

I kept this to myself, but kept thinking about it.

It was the Empress Dowager's birthday. The Empress Dowager was a Buddhist, and Concubine Jiang had specially found a white jade-carved Bodhisattva to present to her.

The person presenting the Bodhisattva was that same little maidservant from that night. When the red cloth was lifted, everyone was startled.

A crack ran across the face of the white jade Bodhisattva. What had originally been a compassionate, downward-looking Bodhisattva statue now looked like a vicious ghost.

The little maidservant was so frightened she knelt on the spot and begged for mercy. The Empress Dowager's gaze swept around, her face showing no joy or anger:

"What does everyone think?"

Those who were on good terms with Concubine Jiang said that the Buddha was compassionate and that this was just an unintentional mistake, and that punishing her with half a year's salary would suffice.

After everyone had spoken their piece, the Empress Dowager asked what I thought. I stood up, bowed, and spoke slowly:

"It is true that the Buddha is compassionate, but the Bodhisattva was fine all the way here and suddenly developed a crack. I'm afraid this is a sign from heaven."

"The Bodhisattva has a gentle expression, but the Vajra has angry eyes. Pure compassion is not the Buddhist teaching."

"If we don't punish her, I'm afraid it will damage the Empress Dowager's good fortune."

The Empress Dowager believed in Buddhism, but as a winner of the previous generation's palace struggles, how could she be a truly compassionate Bodhisattva?

Three sentences decided a person's life and death. Concubine Jiang and the maidservant's faces instantly turned pale.

The Empress Dowager's face darkened as she said flatly:

"Fifty strokes with the staff. Life or death is up to fate. Concubine Jiang failed in her supervision. Punish her with two months' salary."

After speaking, the Empress Dowager entered the inner chamber, and a perfectly good birthday banquet was thus ruined.

The Empress Dowager ordered me to supervise the punishment. I stood on the steps, watching expressionlessly as the sounds of wailing reached my ears.

Xiao Chengyan stood before me, his eyes filled with disappointment, sighs, and a thousand emotions that merged into one sentence.

For the third time, he said this to me:

"You're different from before."

I answered respectfully:

"People change."

The sound of the staff striking flesh was dull. A girl of only fourteen couldn't survive fifty strokes.

Life being as cheap as grass was the best annotation for this era. A jade-carved Bodhisattva was more valuable than a life.

Was she wrong? Yes.

But was the crime punishable by death? Not necessarily.

In the harem, everyone served their own master. As a maidservant, did she really have a choice?

But I still killed her, because I had no evidence to punish Concubine Jiang, so I could only use this maidservant to give Concubine Jiang a warning.

One life, just a warning.

At the thirty-second stroke, the executioner told me she was already out of breath.

When I first heard this, I stared blankly for a long time. Looking up, the white inner lining was already stained red with blood.

I nodded expressionlessly and handed over a handful of gold beans, my tone flat:

"Make a coffin and find a place to bury her."

In the ten years since transmigrating to this dynasty, I had completely lost my basic reverence for life.

7

They always talked about what I was like before, but listening to them felt like hearing someone else's story.

I wondered to myself, that person must have been a madwoman.

What equality, what freedom, even daring to hit the Emperor - I must have been mad before.

Now I was cured. Vaguely, I felt like I had forgotten something, but I couldn't remember what.

Soon it was the end of the year again. Nothing new was happening in the palace.

The only thing I heard was that Concubine Jiang had become pregnant, but for some reason, the pregnancy was gone.

After I had that maidservant beaten to death that day, Xiao Chengyan never came to my palace again, and I had lost favor once more.

But now I was clearly in the Empress's camp, and people in the palace didn't dare to withhold too much from me, so life was still manageable.

In the days leading up to the New Year, I happened to have a cold, so I took the opportunity to be lazy and asked for leave. On New Year's Eve, I was cozy in my palace.

Several maidservants and eunuchs from the palace gathered in the room, drinking tea and eating fruits around the stove, playing leaf cards.

Year after year, wasn't this how palace life always was, never-ending.

As we played and laughed, it started to snow outside. It hadn't snowed at all this year, and the first snowfall竟然 came at the very end of the year.

The snow grew heavier and heavier, large goose-feather snowflakes falling silently to the ground.

It was so quiet, so quiet. While A Qiao wasn't looking, I quietly slipped out of the room.

There was a plum tree in the courtyard, red plum blossoms standing proudly in the snow, exceptionally beautiful.

I stared somewhat transfixed, when suddenly someone fell from the plum tree. Just as I was about to call out, I met a pair of familiar eyes.

It was Xiao Chengyan. He seemed a bit drunk, with a faint flush at the corners of his eyes.

Just as I was about to speak, he covered my mouth with his hand and shook his head at me:

"I'll take you somewhere."

Before I could refuse, he was already pulling me out. In the swirling snow all around, we just kept walking and walking.

I always felt like I had seen this scene somewhere before, just the two of us.

Xiao Chengyan took me to the highest star-gazing tower in the palace. Looking down, it was a vast expanse of white, dotted with scattered candlelights, incredibly beautiful.

He wore a black mink hat, and white snow fell on his head, causing the fur to tremble slightly:

"You taught me this. What's it called? Social dancing."

Actually, I couldn't clearly remember what I had taught him, but my body remembered, naturally following his dance steps.

When the dance ended, we stood face to face. He looked down at me without blinking.

"I once promised you that I would spend every New Year's Eve with you."

"If two people share the snow, this life is considered sharing white hair together. Shu Hua, we will grow old together, won't we?"

He looked at me so affectionately, as if there had never been any conflict between us.

For a moment, I almost believed him, drowning in his gaze.

There weren't many things between us, and I almost forgot why Xiao Chengyan and I had broken up.

I only remembered some things from when we were in the Eastern Palace. He was the most neglected crown prince, and I was a fearless little maidservant.

In the Eastern Palace, there were only the two of us. We relied on each other and spent many New Year's Eves together.

The next moment, Xiao Chengyan's chief eunuch rushed over with a group of people:

"Your Majesty, it's so cold. What if something happens to your dragon body?"

Someone offered a cloak, someone offered a hand warmer, and I was isolated outside the circle of people.

While no one was noticing me, I quietly returned to my palace.

8

That night felt like a dream, the only evidence being that my cold had worsened.

I stayed in bed for several days before slowly recovering.

That day, I wanted to get up and walk around the courtyard but unexpectedly couldn't find A Qiao.

I asked the young maidservant in the courtyard, who said A Qiao had been busy with something lately.

I wanted to find a chance to ask A Qiao, but the next time I saw her, something had already happened.

A Qiao had been having an affair with a guard and was already pregnant. She had been imprisoned in the Department of Punishment.

This was a grave crime - disrupting the palace with an illicit affair, a crime punishable by death.

They said that all maidservants belonged to the Emperor, and having an affair was a great crime.

Everyone who was on good terms with me advised me that being able to leave A Qiao with an intact corpse was already merciful enough.

They said, taking care of A Qiao's family would be enough to fulfill our master-servant relationship.

Only I didn't understand. I didn't understand why two people who loved each other and harmed no one's interests had to die.

Why did two people in love have to die? I didn't understand.

I seemed to be sick again.

It snowed heavily again today, the second heavy snowfall of the new year.

I begged the Emperor for mercy for A Qiao. When no one could persuade me, they said I was the biggest fool in the world.

The snow was heavy. I knelt in the snow, and soon my body was covered in a thick layer.

Cold, the cold came at me from all directions, until eventually I wasn't cold anymore, just a wave of numbness.

Someone held an umbrella for me, someone pleaded for me:

"Your Highness's constitution is weak. Kneeling like this, I'm afraid you won't be able to bear it."

Xiao Chengyan paced back and forth, his face grim:

"I didn't make her kneel. If she wants to kneel, let her kneel to her heart's content."

After speaking angrily, he walked away. Soon a group of people came over.

They placed a circle of stoves under the eaves, brewing tea and admiring the snowy scene.

Xiao Chengyan rested his head on Concubine Jiang's lap while she read novels to him.

This was the same person who had just said he wanted to grow old with me, now holding another woman, looking down from above at my miserable state.

I forget how long I knelt. The moment I was about to faint, I saw Xiao Chengyan running anxiously toward me.

9

I had a very long dream, in which I was in another dynasty.

I was a travel blogger who had seen deserts, snow mountains, oceans, and volcanoes, witnessed local customs around the world, and relying on my own strength, climbed to the highest peak of Mount Everest.

Until that avalanche on the snow mountain, I was trapped in a cave and signed an agreement with a system to travel to this era to accompany someone to the throne, and it would save my life.

But shortly after I arrived, the system disappeared.

No golden finger, no space, so I struggled alone in this era.

A little maidservant in the Eastern Palace, accompanying the unprotected crown prince until he ascended the throne.

Later, our ideas diverged. He didn't understand my thoughts, and I couldn't accept his ideas, so we broke up.

Those memories gradually being swallowed by this era finally became clear again.

Until the sound of the system appeared in my mind again, its tone somewhat apologetic:

"The system had some issues, so I lost contact with the host. You have suffered."

The phrase "you have suffered" almost made my tears fall again.

"Thirty days from now, I will arrange for you to leave this world and return to your original era."

I finally remembered my name. My name is Wen Qiao, the "qiao" of towering trees.

After waking up, I cried for a long time, shouting like a madman:

"My name is Wen Qiao, my name is Wen Qiao, the 'qiao' of towering trees."

I was afraid I would forget my name again, so I wrote the name Wen Qiao in every corner of the room.

Xiao Chengyan hurried over shortly after I woke up, the anxiety in his eyes didn't seem fake.

Actually, he might love me, but this love only extended to giving me some favor. He couldn't promise me a lifetime of one person, nor could he give me the position of Empress. He couldn't even pardon A Qiao's crime - this was the love he could give, and only this much.

A Qiao, the continuous fever had left my mind in chaos. What happened to A Qiao? What was it again?

I finally remembered, A Qiao was going to die.

So my mind was filled with only one thought - I had to see her one last time.

I threw off the covers and tried to get up, but my body swayed from excessive weakness.

Xiao Chengyan held me, and I grabbed onto him as if he were the last life-saving straw:

"Please, let me see A Qiao one last time, just one last time."

He seemed unable to bear looking into my eyes and said slowly:

"A Qiao is already dead. I ordered people to bury her properly, and her family has also been arranged for."

"Without rules, there is no order. I cannot break the rules for her."

In my great grief, I strangely couldn't cry, instead my whole person was wooden and lifeless like a carving.

The imperial physician took my pulse and asked me who I was.

I told him:

"My name is Wen Qiao, the 'qiao' of towering trees."

The imperial physician said I was having hallucinations and wanted to needle me. I struggled desperately, and several people couldn't hold me down.

With no other choice, he could only prescribe medicine.

I was most afraid of bitterness. In my original era, I hated taking medicine, let alone Chinese medicine. So I kept my mouth shut, refusing to take it:

"I'm not sick. They are the ones who are sick."

Xiao Chengyan learned some method from somewhere and actually held the medicine in his own mouth to feed me.

When his face approached, I subconsciously slapped him.

A crisp sound, and the whole room fell silent. Maidservants and the imperial physician knelt all over the floor.

I looked at Xiao Chengyan expressionlessly. I hadn't looked at him eye-to-eye like this for a long time.

When I realized he could control the life and death of me and those around me, when I realized my life or death depended on his words, I became somewhat afraid of him, so most of the time I looked up at him slightly.

And now my mentality was somewhat similar to when you're about to resign from a job - if I can live, I live; if not, I die.

How could I not hate him? I hated him for bringing me one green hat after another when I could do nothing about it. I hated him for clearly being unable to promise my requests yet trapping me in the palace for decades.

Our eyes met. I thought he would be angry, but unexpectedly, Xiao Chengyan suddenly laughed, as if he had recovered a long-lost treasure:

"This is my Shu Hua."

He broke my wings but hated why I wasn't the same as before. How ridiculous.

10

After learning I had only thirty days left before going home, I completely let myself go.

I stopped going for morning greetings. At five in the morning, whoever wanted to get up could get up. Anyway, I couldn't.

The Empress didn't mind. When I didn't go, she came over instead, her tone somewhat excited:

"The people in the palace are really boring. I've long been tired of them. I just like seeing you like you were before."

For a while, I quite hated the Empress, feeling that she had forcibly intervened between Xiao Chengyan and me's feelings.

Later I understood that whether or not she existed, Xiao Chengyan would never have married a maidservant as his principal wife.

I was quite lucky. The Empress wasn't actually a bad person. Otherwise, with my personality of challenging everyone and everything back then, it was already quite fortunate that she let me live.

Later, I didn't want to see the Empress because I felt she was the proper wife, and someone like me in modern times would be a mistress.

Later, I discovered that she was actually just like me, a pitiful person trapped in this square courtyard.

I regained the unique favor in the palace. Xiao Chengyan came every day, right after morning court, arriving on time like clocking in at a company.

Although I really didn't want to see him, no one dared to block the Emperor's path, so I could only watch him swagger in.

Xiao Chengyan set up a place in my courtyard to handle memorials. Wherever I was, he would follow, like a piece of sticky candy I couldn't shake off.

When it got too annoying, I would go to the Empress's palace and tell her about my experiences from all over the world.

This scoundrel Xiao Chengyan was shameless, insisting on sitting between me and the Empress, occasionally offering his opinions.

After a while, he looked at me thoughtfully and asked:

"Where did you hear about these things?"

I suddenly laughed:

"Didn't I tell you, I'm not from this era."

He was stunned for a moment, and I laughed again:

"I'm kidding. I read it in storybooks."

Xiao Chengyan seemed to have some other problem and suddenly grabbed my hand, his tone heavy:

"Under heaven, all is the king's land. No matter where you're from, I will find you."

11

Perhaps seeing I was bored, Xiao Chengyan took me hunting in the South Mountains.

Midway through, while Xiao Chengyan wasn't paying attention, I slipped away to the town's market to look around.

In the ten years since coming to this era, I never had a proper chance to see the local customs.

In the early years in the Eastern Palace, my life was uncertain, not knowing if I would live or die tomorrow. In later years, I was trapped in the palace, caught in one struggle after another.

Now standing firmly on this land, I discovered that the scenery here was actually very beautiful.

A Qiao had told me her parents lived in the second house on the east lane.

Relying on some memory and some asking for directions, I finally found her home.

A Qiao's brother had married, and the house was newly renovated. The family was well-dressed and seemed to be doing well.

I didn't want to mention the past again, needlessly upsetting people. I just looked and then left.

A Qiao's grave was not far from the back mountain. She loved flowers, so I had people plant flowers that bloom in all four seasons, so there would always be flowers in bloom, spring, summer, autumn, and winter.

She was a friend I had known since I was a maidservant, and later when I entered the palace, she always followed by my side.

We were friends like family, but I couldn't protect her.

If possible, next time she is reincarnated in modern times, I will take her to see all the scenery she envied.

I sat in front of A Qiao's grave until the sun went down, then headed back.

Not that I didn't want to leave, but with only a few days left, I didn't want to involve the maidservants and eunuchs who took care of me.

When I reached the market, there was a commotion up ahead. Going closer, I saw a child had fallen into the water.

The child's mother couldn't swim and was crying until her voice was hoarse.

No one around could swim, and those who could were estimating their own safety.

If it were the me from before, I wouldn't have saved the child because I had to consider various issues.

After coming up, my clothes would be soaked and clinging to my body. I was afraid people would use it against me. I had to cherish my reputation, and reputation was more important than life.

In this era, human life was worthless. A few words could determine someone's life or death.

Whether I was willing or not, many people died because of me - some to protect me, some because they harmed me.

I could already be very indifferent to the passing of a life, but Wen Qiao couldn't. Wen Qiao respected every life.

So I jumped in. The river water was cold, and the current was a bit swift. Fortunately, I still managed to grab the child.

After getting ashore, the child had stopped breathing. I immediately performed CPR and artificial respiration.

The people around watched me in shock. I had no time to care what others thought, focusing wholeheartedly on wanting to save this life.

The child was finally saved. When I heard the crying, I almost shed tears.

How precious life is. I rejoiced that I finally once again possessed reverence for life.

Before I could stand up, I was already wrapped in a cloak.

Xiao Chengyan's expression was terrible. He picked me up around the waist, mounted a horse, and rushed toward the palace.

12

Along the way, he didn't speak a word, only after returning to the courtyard did he finally lose his temper.

He paced back and forth like a trapped beast:

"Shu Hua, have I been too indulgent with you, making you dare to do anything?"

"What is your status, doing something so undignified for a commoner?"

"If I hadn't arrived in time, do you know what the consequences would be?"

I looked at him calmly because he saw me as his possession, so when others saw my soaked body, he flew into a rage.

Xiao Chengyan seemed enraged by my dismissive attitude. He suddenly bent down close to me, grabbed my chin, and forced me to look at him:

"You should know that you can only rely on me alone. The dignity of the Son of Heaven cannot tolerate your repeated challenges."

He was determined to teach me a lesson, so he threw me into the Cold Palace.

The system said gleefully in my mind:

"Only three days left. Who are you threatening? I was just wondering how to make you conveniently fall ill, and this gives me the opportunity."

I was thrown into the Cold Palace. The Empress pleaded for me and was also confined to her quarters.

Concubine Jiang and I had too much resentment between us. She was currently in high favor, and those who wanted to curry favor with her used me as an offering.

Nothing more than the dirty tricks of the palace. Those who had received my kindness before advised me to admit my mistake to the Emperor and soften my attitude. I just smiled and shook my head.

The next day I developed a high fever. Everyone was unsure of the Emperor's attitude toward me, so they didn't dare to call for the imperial physician.

I burned for a whole night. When Xiao Chengyan arrived, the imperial physician was already helpless.

He staggered to the bedside. I had no strength left, and even lifting my head was somewhat difficult.

Using my last bit of strength, I gently caressed his face, my voice like dripping blood:

"Xiao Chengyan, my greatest regret in this life is meeting you."

"You killed me. If not for you, I wouldn't die."

"I curse you that you will never know happiness in this life and will not die well."

The system said I couldn't change the course of history, but I was truly unwilling, so I could only plant a thorn in his heart.

When he dreams at midnight, I hope this poisoned thorn can torture him from time to time.

The system began the return countdown. I started vomiting large amounts of blood.

Xiao Chengyan grabbed my shoulders like a madman:

"You think death will let you leave me?"

He suddenly drew a guard's sword and held it to the imperial physician's throat:

"Needle her! Force-feed her medicine! Even if it means going against heaven to change fate—"

And then my hand slowly fell, and I lost consciousness.

13 Xiao Chengyan's Perspective

Your Majesty, Consort Shu Hua... has passed away.

Everyone knelt down. The imperial physician prostrated himself on the ground, not daring to lift his head.

Xiao Chengyan suddenly remembered that year's autumn hunt, when Shu Hua was also covered in blood and fell into his arms, yet still smiling and pulling his sleeve:

Your Highness, your robe is dirty.

Xiao Chengyan suddenly went mad, shaking the lifeless body:

Impossible, get up! This is an imperial decree! Otherwise, I'll execute your entire clan.

Only after speaking did he realize that Shu Hua had no nine generations to execute. She seemed to have fallen from the sky in his most panic-stricken youth.

Perhaps as she said, she really came from a thousand years in the future.

"Shu Hua..." Blood-stained fingertips brushed her lips as the emperor finally bent his straight spine, "Open your eyes..."

Hot tears fell on her cold eyelids, "Look at me..."

Outside the window, thunder crashed, and a downpour began.

Xiao Chengyan suddenly remembered the day of her enfeoffment as Empress. Shu Hua smiled sorrowfully through the pearl curtain:

"Your Majesty is now truly alone."

He had taken it as a joke then, but now knew every word pierced the heart.

"Pass the decree." The emperor wrapped the gradually cold body tightly in his dragon robe, "Consort Shu Hua... has caught a slight cold and is moved to the Hall of Mental Cultivation."

Blood droplets dripped along the sword hilt, blooming into strange red plums on the blue bricks:

"Who dares to speak carelessly will have their clan executed."

The eunuch thudded to his knees:

"Your Majesty! Her Ladyship has already..."

A cold flash, and a lock of white hair drifted to the ground.

Xiao Chengyan carried the body toward the rain curtain:

"Prepare the carriage, go to the Imperial Ancestral Temple."

He whispered against his beloved's ear, "We'll go to pay respects to the ancestors. I want to make you my empress..."

Later, it was said that the emperor went mad that night, enshrining a corpse as his empress. Whoever tried to persuade him, he killed.

The Empress Dowager supported the Empress's son to the throne, becoming the Grand Empress Dowager, while the Empress became the Empress Dowager.

The young emperor was young, so the two empresses ruled together, creating the Taihe Prosperous Age.

14

When I woke up, I was back in modern times, as if I had a very long nightmare, my heart still pounding.

Only when I saw the blue sky and sunshine outside the window did I finally feel I had returned to the human world.

My mother said I had been unconscious for ten days. When I was dug out from the snow mountain, I had completely lost consciousness.

Everyone said I would never wake up, only she didn't believe.

One day in heaven, one year on earth. So only ten days had passed.

After leaving the hospital, I returned home. My dog was particularly clingy with me, as if it knew I had almost made it back.

After my body recovered, I soon set out on my travels again.

Life on the road was fulfilling. I met all kinds of people every day, solved all kinds of problems, and rarely thought about the past.

I painted A Qiao on my clothes based on my memory. I had promised her I would take her to see the world, and I couldn't break that promise.

Later, I had several relationships. Honestly, they all bore some resemblance to Xiao Chengyan in appearance.

Not because of lingering feelings, but really because my sexual preference was for this type, with a bit of exotic flavor.

Superior bone structure, slightly deep-set eyes, preferably with lighter-colored pupils, and always a hint of melancholy in their gaze.

Strong but not fat build, with beautiful muscle lines.

Over the years, I met many people. Slavic people were stunning but prone to alcoholism; French people were passionate and romantic but promiscuous; Germans were rigorous and family-oriented but prone to cold violence.

After seeing it all, I still chose someone from the same cultural background - Chinese, to be precise, with one-eighth German blood.

Shen Yan, a university professor, fluent in eight languages.

I loved listening to him whisper obscene words in different languages in bed.

With gold-rimmed glasses removed, he transformed from professor to refined scoundrel.

After all, one must not disappoint the fine spring scenery.

15 Xiao Chengyan's Perspective

Xiao Chengyan had a very long dream, in which he arrived in a strange place and became a little black dog.

When he saw the living Wen Qiao again, he was extremely excited. A thousand words finally turned into a few barks.

She hugged him into her arms - a living person, not that cold corpse.

So Shu Hua had told the truth. No, she wasn't called Shu Hua. She should be called Wen Qiao, the "qiao" of towering trees.

In this world, there were fast-moving cars on the roads, Kunpeng could carry hundreds of people at once, and people thousands of miles apart could communicate instantly.

Everyone was equal, and women could also go to school and work. So this was the paradise she spoke of.

He finally understood where Wen Qiao's inappropriate ideas came from.

Wen Qiao often said she didn't want to rely completely on him. Before, he didn't understand. In his era, it was common for women to rely on men.

The most beautiful love words were: If I rank nth among men, you rank nth among women.

But those who have truly tried to hold their destiny in their own hands can never truly be content to depend on others.

Perhaps it was fate. Now he had become Wen Qiao's little dog, dependent on her alone.

She was always traveling all over the world, while he could only wait at home day after day.

He would always look at the sky through the balcony window. Occasionally, planes would fly by, and he wondered if that was Wen Qiao's plane.

Xiao Chengyan thought, on those nights he didn't go to her palace, was she also waiting for his arrival?

He finally understood why, even though he had given her unique favor in the palace, she had never been happy.

Later, when new men appeared around her, he hated them so much he itched, but didn't dare really bite people.

So he could only do some wicked things, like carrying away that person's shoes, or secretly urinating on their things.

For an owner, a pet's anger is just a joke.

Later, he grew older day by day, and it was time for his life to end.

The last thing he saw, he just looked quietly at Wen Qiao, wanting to remember everything about her to get through those sleepless nights.

Wen Qiao held him, weeping uncontrollably. Xiao Chengyan optimistically thought that being a dog wasn't bad - at least he could see her cry for him.

No matter how unwilling, he finally closed his eyes. No one could defy fate, not even the Son of Heaven.

When he woke up, he was lying in an empty hall, surrounded by fallen wine bottles.

In the end, it was all empty. Zhuang Zhou dreamed of a butterfly, not knowing if Zhuang Zhou dreamed of the butterfly or the butterfly dreamed of Zhuang Zhou.

In the fifth year of Taihe, that mad emperor whom the palace spoke of in hushed tones died one night.

He alone climbed the Star-Picking Tower, danced a dance, then jumped down.

A great snow, leaving nothing but vast white emptiness...

(The End)