The Heart You Never Knew

When Shen Ci's heart transplant surgery was successful, I was dying of brain cancer just one wall away.

He would never know that the successfully matched heart was mine.

Four years later, the billionaire Shen Ci returned to China with a beautiful companion to attend a class reunion.

After three rounds of drinks, he suddenly spoke—

"Why isn't Fang Ran here?"

1

On the day Shen Ci returned to China, I, who had been dead for four years, came back to life.

The floating kind.

I stared at my semi-transparent spirit form and my dirty tombstone, feeling dazed for a moment.

I wondered if it was because I died of brain cancer, but I had forgotten many things from my life.

I floated in mid-air, curiously listening to the old classmates below gossiping about me before my death.

A somewhat bald four-eyed boy took a sip of wine and spoke indignantly.

"I send her messages every year asking if she's attending the class reunion, and she never replies. She's so rude."

"Wasn't she like that when she was studying? She didn't like talking to people, always running outside, who knows what she was doing. Usually, she would only talk to Shen Ci."

"Speaking of which, I saw Fang Ran in Country M four years ago when I was traveling there. I don't know if she was on a diet, she had lost a lot of weight."

"I think she found a foreigner and settled down in Country M. Otherwise, why hasn't her WeChat updated in four years? Maybe she doesn't use this account anymore."

A beautiful woman with big waves sitting in the middle suddenly looked at Shen Ci with a gossipy tone.

"Shen Ci, were you and Fang Ran dating in college?"

Shen Ci's face was stern, as if thinking about something. Only when his ears caught the words "Fang Ran" did he come back to himself.

"Mmm."

He lowered his eyes and took a sip of wine, making it impossible to see the emotions in his eyes.

"What are you talking about."

The woman beside him immediately patted her, "Can't you see there's a beautiful woman sitting next to Shen Ci!"

The woman sitting next to Shen Ci finally spoke, "It's okay, you guys continue talking."

Her voice was soft and gentle, making it impossible to detect any displeasure.

I stared blankly at that face, stunned.

Because this was the only other person besides Shen Ci that I still remembered—Cheng Suqing.

The young lady who had loved Shen Ci for many years.

My gaze slowly moved from her face to Shen Ci's face.

So they were already together.

That's good.

Much more compatible than I was.

2

Perhaps sensing the awkward atmosphere, everyone changed the topic with forced laughter.

Later, Shen Ci didn't speak again.

He just sat silently in his seat and drank several more glasses of wine.

After the gathering ended, I followed Shen Ci as he left.

Not because of lingering feelings, simply because I only remembered the two of them now.

Shen Ci saw Cheng Suqing to her car. Just as he was about to close the door, Cheng Suqing suddenly grabbed Shen Ci's sleeve.

"You drank so much just now because of Fang Ran?"

My heart tightened, and I turned to look at Shen Ci.

I saw his face tense, frowning as he denied it.

"Of course not, I was just thinking about visiting that person's grave, feeling a bit heavy."

That person?

Whose grave?

I listened in confusion.

Cheng Suqing gave Shen Ci a deep look but didn't speak.

The atmosphere instantly fell silent.

Shen Ci rubbed his temples, "If nothing's wrong, I'll be going now."

"Shen Ci."

Cheng Suqing's face was hidden in the night, making it impossible to see her expression.

"Drink less alcohol."

"This heart was hard to come by."

Shen Ci nodded and closed the car door.

"I know."

3

I followed Shen Ci all the way back to his home.

Throughout the journey, Shen Ci's expression was very unpleasant. His secretary in the passenger seat secretly glanced at him several times.

When Shen Ci got home, he opened another bottle of wine.

The secretary asked Shen Ci uneasily, "President Shen, did something happen?"

Shen Ci impatiently loosened his collar, as if feeling stuffy.

"Go investigate someone for me..."

He paused, his expression twisting for a moment, as if with some disgust he took a sip of wine.

"Never mind, you can go."

The secretary carefully placed a cup of honey water on the table and tiptoed away.

But I was anxious.

I circled Shen Ci, constantly muttering.

"Why have you started drinking so heavily now?!"

"Your body has only recovered for a few years, and you're already trying to kill yourself!!!"

I was fuming with anger over here.

While Shen Ci continued to drink heavily without any awareness.

Only when he was completely groggy did he sway and lie down on the bed.

I was leaning over the bed observing his face when suddenly, the surrounding environment rapidly twisted and deformed.

In the confusion, I returned to the private room where we had just gathered.

Everyone in the room had disappeared, leaving only Shen Ci sitting there alone.

I subconsciously took a few steps forward.

He seemed to have heard a sound and looked up.

Shen Ci's body instantly froze, staring at me for several seconds before spitting out a few words.

"How did you get so thin?"

I froze.

Since when could Shen Ci see me?

Shen Ci gritted his teeth looking at me, his hoarse voice seeming to be squeezed from his throat.

"Is this how your white husband takes care of you? Look how thin you've become!"

His gaze fell on me, and his eyes instantly turned red.

He laughed sarcastically, "Why are you still wearing this dress?"

"Someone like you who always likes new things would wear an old dress like this?"

I blankly looked down at the dress I was wearing.

It was loose and shapeless, the color at the hem faded from washing.

I remembered.

This dress was the one Shen Ci bought me when he earned his first salary from tutoring in college.

He excitedly took me into that store and very generously bought the dress I had never been willing to buy.

He looked at me, his eyes very bright.

"A Ran, I can earn more money in the future and buy you more little dresses."

I looked at Shen Ci, my heart aching with sourness.

This wasn't some old dress.

This was my most precious gift.

4

"Why aren't you talking? Is there nothing left to say to me now?!"

He stared at me for several seconds, his voice low and hoarse.

"Is this the better man you mentioned?"

"If he was really that good, how could he let you become like this?"

I opened my mouth, wanting to tell him I was doing well, wanting to tell him not to drink so much.

I also wanted to tell him—forget me.

Just as I was about to take a step forward, the surrounding environment suddenly shattered from within.

Countless fragments blocked between us, breaking apart.

Shen Ci woke up.

He sat up abruptly, gasped several times, and his unfocused eyes slowly returned to clarity.

I floated to the side, silently watching Shen Ci frustratingly bend down in the quiet room, hanging his head and burying his face in his hands.

His whole person was enveloped in gloom and pain.

An indescribable soreness spread from my empty chest throughout my body.

5

When he woke up the next day, Shen Ci sat on the bed for a moment, then got up to shower after smelling the sour odor on his body.

I subconsciously followed behind him. When I saw Shen Ci take off his shirt, I blushed and retreated.

Don't look at what's improper, don't listen to what's improper.

When Shen Ci came out, the housekeeper had already arrived and was making breakfast.

I floated to the side watching the housekeeper make breakfast, occasionally giving some pointers.

"Too much oil!"

"Auntie! Enough salt! Enough salt!!"

Shen Ci greeted the housekeeper, then leaned back on the sofa with his eyes closed.

I floated over and found his face showed undeniable fatigue.

My heart ached as I leaned in wanting to touch his face, but when I raised my hand, it passed right through him.

Just then, Shen Ci suddenly opened his eyes.

He frowned and sat up straight, raising his hand to touch his face in confusion.

I subconsciously held my breath, watching his movements in disbelief.

Just as we were in a standoff, the housekeeper came out with breakfast.

"Mr. Shen, breakfast is ready."

I followed Shen Ci and floated over. With sharp eyes, I noticed the housekeeper secretly wiping away tears.

I shouted, "Shen Ci, Auntie is crying!"

Shen Ci noticed too.

He handed over a tissue and asked softly, "Did something happen?"

The housekeeper took the tissue in a panic and wiped her face, apologizing with a choked voice.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Shen, I couldn't control my emotions for a moment."

As she spoke, tears fell again.

"I have a good friend, we haven't been in touch for several years. I sent her messages these past few years but got no reply. Only now did I learn she's already gone."

She covered her face, saying with a choked voice:

"People like us with no family ties always find out late. By the time we know, it's too late. I couldn't even send her off."

"She was still so young, sigh... what a bitter life..."

I nodded vigorously beside her.

When I woke up and saw my dirty tombstone, I also lamented my bitter life.

After all, in the entire cemetery, my tombstone was the dirtiest.

Just as my heart was breaking, I suddenly realized something was wrong.

If no one knew I had passed away, then who arranged my affairs?

Shen Ci and I were both children who grew up in an orphanage. Besides each other, we had no other relatives.

Just as I was racking my brains thinking, I noticed out of the corner of my eye that Shen Ci suddenly froze.

He quickly opened his phone, clicked into my chat window, looking like he was about to send me a message.

But when his eyes fell on our last conversation, his fingers paused again.

"Shen Ci, I've fallen for someone else in Country M. He treats me very well. I don't want to waste all my time on you anymore. Let's break up."

Shen Ci stared at those words for a long time, finally putting his phone away again.

He rubbed his temples in pain and said to himself, "I must be going crazy."

My heart suddenly soured, an indescribable feeling enveloping my entire heart.

I silently watched Shen Ci for a long time, only leaving his home after he finished breakfast.

I was aimlessly floating around the street when my hands suddenly felt heavy. Looking down, I found a bouquet of flowers in my arms.

6

Holding the flowers, I flew to the cemetery in confusion. From afar, I saw someone standing there.

Getting closer, I realized it was Cheng Suqing.

The dirty tombstone had been wiped very clean, and a large bouquet of hydrangeas was placed before it.

Several bodyguards stood not far away, waiting.

When I floated over, I could still hear them chatting.

"Who is this person? Why does the young lady come here every year?"

"I'm not sure either."

I quickly floated to Cheng Suqing's side.

She lowered her eyes, staring at the photo on the tombstone, and said with a bitter smile: "Tomorrow I plan to bring Shen Ci here."

"Fang Ran, will you blame me for breaking my promise?"

She spoke many words to my tombstone as if talking to herself.

I stood beside her, listening quietly.

Those memories that had been clouded by fog all became clear at this moment.

I remembered everything.

I don't know how much time passed before Cheng Suqing fell silent.

She squatted down, carefully examining the photo on the tombstone. Her voice was very small, as if whispering in my ear. She said—

"Fang Ran, I don't plan to like Shen Ci anymore."

"He's just like you, both fools."

7

When I discovered I had late-stage brain cancer, it was on a bright afternoon.

At that time, Shen Ci had already been hospitalized.

It was Cheng Suqing who helped.

She said proudly: "The money my family spends on charity every year could save many Shen Cis."

"Saving a life is better than building a seven-level pagoda. Consider it accumulating merit for myself."

This is what Cheng Suqing said, but we still recorded every expense.

That afternoon, the brain specialist told me two treatment options with a grave expression.

Either conservative treatment, or brain surgery.

Conservative treatment would probably only allow me to live for half a year.

While brain surgery was risky, I might even be paralyzed, demented, or blind after surgery.

Even if the surgery was successful, it would only give me a few more years of life.

I thanked the doctor and turned to do a heart matching test.

That day I suddenly discovered that blessings and misfortunes in this world always seem to come together.

On the day I discovered I had late-stage brain cancer, the heart Shen Ci had been waiting for was found.

8

After Cheng Suqing left, I floated back to Shen Ci's side.

Shen Ci was already working in his study.

I floated to the side, staring at his excellent profile in a daze.

In my imagination, after I passed away, Shen Ci would forget me, perhaps get together with Cheng Suqing, or maybe some other girl.

In any case, he would live very happily.

Not like now, living alone in a cold house.

Occasionally, midnight dreams would still torture him with the past.

I suddenly remembered a movie Shen Ci and I had watched several years ago.

The male lead had cancer. To make the female lead let him go, he deliberately treated her coldly and hurt her, even trying to find her a better lover.

Everyone cried while cursing the terrible plot, and I was no exception.

Tears kept falling, and Shen Ci laughingly handed me tissues and wiped my tears.

After the movie ended, I held Shen Ci's arm, sniffled, and shamelessly choked out: "If I get cancer in the future, I won't force you to leave. I want you to stay with me always, so you won't forget me."

Shen Ci quickly covered my mouth and childishly spat several times.

"What nonsense are you talking about? You will definitely live safely and healthily to a hundred years old."

My thoughts returned, and I looked at my transparent body, wrinkling my nose.

Fine.

Elders often say to avoid tempting fate, but I didn't listen, and my words came true.

How hateful.

What if I now say a hundred times that Shen Ci will live safely and healthily to a hundred years old.

Would that also come true?

9

The next day, Shen Ci got up early, holding a large bouquet of chrysanthemums he had ordered and drove to the meeting place.

Cheng Suqing had also arrived early at the cemetery. She still held a bouquet of hydrangeas like yesterday's.

When she saw the chrysanthemums in Shen Ci's arms, she froze, rarely apologizing: "I forgot to remind you, she said not to bring chrysanthemums when visiting her. She said she likes hydrangeas."

Shen Ci's steps stopped.

His expression froze for a moment, blank.

As if he didn't know what expression to make, what action to take in response to Cheng Suqing's words.

Many years ago, I had also said such words to Shen Ci.

I told him: "If I leave before you, bring me hydrangeas when you come to see me."

At that time, Shen Ci's expression was unpleasant. He glared at me fiercely and ignored my nonsense.

I laughingly hugged him, raised my hands to cup his face, and gave him a kiss.

"Don't you know the flower language of hydrangeas?"

"Even if we separate briefly, we will eventually meet."

"Every time you come to see me with hydrangeas, it's our countless reunions."

Shen Ci's expression was still unpleasant, so he very seriously argued with me about who should leave first, arguing for an entire afternoon.

I watched Shen Ci's stiff face, a sense of powerlessness spreading from the bottom of my heart throughout my body.

Four years ago, I self-righteously made what I thought was the most correct choice, leaving only Shen Ci to live on in confusion.

Four years after everything had settled, I again left only him to face the cruel truth unprepared.

Cheng Suqing took the initiative to break the suffocating silence.

She handed the flowers to Shen Ci, speaking softly:

"Don't forget in the future."

The chrysanthemums were taken by Cheng Suqing, and the hydrangeas fell into Shen Ci's arms.

He held the hydrangeas, his expression still blank.

He followed behind Cheng Suqing, walking closer and closer to my tombstone.

From afar, the blue at the front of the tomb could still be seen.

Shen Ci seemed to react, his feet firmly planted in place, refusing to move forward.

He reached out and grabbed Cheng Suqing's arm, his gaze fixed on Cheng Suqing's eyes.

"Cheng Suqing, don't joke about such things."

Cheng Suqing frowned, as if her arm hurt from being grabbed, but she endured it without getting angry.

"Shen Ci, I'll explain everything after we finish paying respects. Are you sure you want to pull and tug with me in front of her?"

As soon as she finished speaking, Shen Ci's hand seemed to be burned as he let go, his face looking terrible.

She added another sentence.

"Fix your expression. She wouldn't want to see you like this."

10

So two more bouquets of flowers were added before my tomb.

When Shen Ci saw the photo on the tombstone, his whole person turned gray.

He somewhat slowly bent down, carefully reaching out to wipe the dust that had fallen on the photo.

The photo on the tombstone was a headshot cropped from a photo of Shen Ci and me together.

Only when I was about to die did I realize I didn't even have a single personal photo of myself.

I could only crop a photo where I was smiling brightly from our group photo.

But now I somewhat regret choosing this photo.

Because this was a photo taken by a passerby during our first date after Shen Ci and I got together.

At that time, I confidently applied a full face of exquisite makeup following a beauty tutorial video.

As a result, Shen Ci laughed at me for a long time.

He ran to buy a bottle of makeup remover and cleaned all the colorful makeup from my face.

Shen Ci said something with a laugh, making me so angry I bared my teeth and claws wanting to hit him.

As we fought, the two of us somehow started laughing again.

I clearly remembered Shen Ci's relaxed, wickedly smiling face.

But I somewhat forgot what Shen Ci had said at that time.

I frowned.

He... what did he say?

Suddenly, a faint sound nearby interrupted my deep thought.

Shen Ci squatted down, gently touching his forehead to the photo on the tombstone.

Just like countless times in the past when he intimately touched my forehead.

His voice was light, hoarse, and trembling.

He said: "Fang Ran, are you a fool?"

I looked at him, tears uncontrollably falling down.

I remembered.

He said with a helpless laugh at that time: "Fang Ran, are you a fool?"

11

Cheng Suqing took a deep breath, as if unable to bear the atmosphere at this moment.

"I'll wait for you at the foot of the mountain."

She waved her hand and walked toward the cemetery exit.

After Cheng Suqing left, Shen Ci quietly wiped my tombstone again carefully.

He meticulously arranged the flowers, stood up, and watched for a long time.

He didn't say another word to me, only when he was about to leave did he gently place a kiss on my tombstone.

Shen Ci's voice was very low, as if afraid of waking me in the grave.

He said: "I'm four years late. Will you blame me?"

I shook my head. Even though I knew he couldn't hear me, I still answered him seriously: "You know I never blame you."

After Shen Ci came down the mountain, Cheng Suqing had just finished a phone call.

"After she left, she originally told me to burn all her things, but I still kept a small part, thinking that if you found out someday, it could leave you with a memory."

Shen Ci said thank you to her in a hoarse voice.

Shen Ci's car was driven by his driver, following behind Cheng Suqing's car, while Shen Ci got into Cheng Suqing's passenger seat.

After the car had driven a short distance, Cheng Suqing finally spoke.

"Fang Ran was diagnosed with brain cancer half a year after you were hospitalized."

I saw Shen Ci's hand resting at his side instantly tighten, the veins on the back of his hand bulging obviously.

"I didn't know about this."

"Because she didn't intend to tell you."

On the afternoon I got the report, I actively sought out Cheng Suqing and told her everything.

At first, she didn't react, subconsciously saying: "Should I arrange for you two to be in the same room?"

I shook my head, "No."

I had already signed a body donation agreement. After my death, this heart would belong to Shen Ci.

But I begged Cheng Suqing not to tell Shen Ci about this matter.

The young me hoped my lover could always live in memory and not forget me.

And the me at that time hoped my lover could move forward and not remember me.

Cheng Suqing was silent for a long time, finally agreeing under my pleading.

"My father said not to interfere in others' karma. Since this is the decision you made, I will respect it."

This is what she said, but she still arranged me in the room next to Shen Ci's.

Looking back now, Shen Ci and I owed her far too much.

During those days, separated by a wall, I could occasionally catch some sounds of Shen Ci during lucky moments.

At that time, I had already mentioned breaking up with Shen Ci on my phone.

...

My matter was simple, could be explained in just a few words.

Soon the car fell into dead silence again.

Shen Ci gritted his teeth and turned to look out the window.

The veins at his temple were taut, and his eyes burned red.

He choked out, his voice thick with nasal tone.

"Thank you."

12

Shen Ci returned home holding the box Cheng Suqing gave him.

The box wasn't large, sealed very tightly with tape.

I curiously looked at it a few more times.

I wondered what Cheng Suqing had left inside.

Shen Ci carefully placed the box on the table, his hand with the scissors paused for a long time.

But in the end, he still didn't have the courage to open it, painfully pressing against the cardboard box and calling my name.

13

I didn't know when I would leave.

But I only wanted to stay by Shen Ci's side for as long as I had consciousness.

Even if he couldn't see me.

I started deliberately jumping out from certain places to scare him, then watching him walk expressionlessly through my body.

Every day I entertained myself with my own one-person show.

Until one morning I jumped out to scare him again.

He seemed frightened, suddenly taking a step back.

The things in his hands scattered all over the floor.

He stood there blankly looking at me, incredulously murmuring: "Fang Ran?"

I was stunned too, helplessly looking at him.

My mind went blank, and I directly greeted him.

"Hi, Shen Ci, long time no see."

"Hahahaha..."

"Did I scare you?"

I watched Shen Ci's increasingly red eyes, my voice slowly growing smaller, finally pressing my lips together, my eyes darting around.

Shen Ci subconsciously took a few steps forward, his voice trembling as he spoke.

"Is it you? A Ran?"

He raised his hand wanting to hug me, but his hand just passed through my body.

So he only embraced a ball of air.

Shen Ci blankly lowered his eyes looking at his own hands.

The next second, like a child who had lost his beloved toy, he helplessly covered his face and squatted down.

Several large tears接连啪地砸向了地板。

Shen Ci, who had always quietly accepted fate since childhood, was now squatting on the ground covering his face and breaking down crying.

I panicked and squatted beside him, not knowing what to say, only constantly apologizing.

"I'm sorry, Shen Ci."

"Don't cry..."

"It's all my fault."

Shen Ci raised his hand to cover his eyes, his red eyes completely hidden.

His voice was muffled and bitter.

"Fang Ran, you're really a fool."

14

That afternoon, the emotionally collapsed Shen Ci seemed like a dream to me.

He very quickly accepted the fact that I had become a ghost floating by his side.

He became unwilling to go out, he fired the housekeeper, and placed my spirit tablet in the living room.

The altar was filled with various pastries and fruits.

I watched Shen Ci's calm expression, with some hidden worry.

He accepted it too quickly.

He never主动 asked me anything, as if we had been together all these years.

He would only hold a gentle expression, constantly repeating those few questions.

"What do you want to eat tomorrow?"

"Do you want to go out and play?"

"How is your body now?"

"Is the sunlight at home too harsh?"

I watched with a racing heart as Shen Ci became thinner and more paranoid.

The curtains in the entire apartment were drawn, with no sunlight leaking in.

The windows were also tightly closed, the air filled with the heavy smell of incense.

But even so, my spirit form became more transparent day by day.

"Shen Ci!"

Just as Shen Ci was lighting incense again, I called out to him.

"Buy me another dress."

Shen Ci looked at me for a long time, finally answering hoarsely, okay.

15

Shen Ci held a black umbrella walking on the bustling street, most of his body exposed outside, with only me completely covered under the umbrella.

This strange way of holding the umbrella made passersby turn back frequently.

I became anxious.

"Shen Ci! I told you sunlight doesn't affect me, come in a bit more!"

He stubbornly shook his head, very firmly saying:

"You must be lying to me again."

His voice was neither loud nor soft, just enough for passersby to hear.

A passerby nearby widened their eyes looking at Shen Ci, their gaze constantly moving around his ears.

When they discovered Shen Ci was talking to the air, they quickly quickened their steps away from him.

I watched powerlessly and painfully as passersby treated Shen Ci as if he were mentally ill.

I wanted to reach out and pull Shen Ci in, but the result would only be the same as countless times before—unable to touch.

With red eyes, I struggled to control my trembling, forcing a smile as I looked at Shen Ci.

"Shen Ci, come a bit closer. Don't you want to be nearer to me?"

Only then was Shen Ci willing to come in a little.

After arriving at the mall, he directly took me into a clothing store.

The salesperson in the store seemed very familiar with Shen Ci, enthusiastically greeting him.

"Mr. Shen, what can I help you with?"

"I want to pick out a few dresses for my love."

I quickly said, "One is enough."

He frowned, looking at me with disapproval.

"How can one be enough to wear?"

The salesperson froze, saying with a puzzled expression: "I didn't say one?"

I apologized to him: "I'm sorry, I said that."

Unfortunately, he couldn't hear me and could only continue with eyes full of confusion, maintaining a professional smile and following behind Shen Ci.

Shen Ci picked out a dress and held it up against me.

"This one seems nice, what do you think?"

"This one seems okay too."

Shen Ci picked out dresses as if no one else was around, talking with me.

The salesperson's expression had already changed from confusion to horror. When Shen Ci spoke to me again, I noticed the salesperson take out their phone preparing to dial 110.

I immediately randomly selected several items, then pretended to be somewhat weak and swayed.

"Shen Ci, I feel a bit tired. I want to go home."

Shen Ci's expression changed drastically. He turned to look at the salesperson, his tone urgent.

"Deliver these clothes to my home later."

With that, he hurriedly took me home.

After returning home, he neurotically checked every corner of the house carefully.

Fearing that somewhere sunlight was leaking in.

"How about now? Is your body feeling better?"

He stared paranoidly at my increasingly transparent body.

"Much better."

I looked at his bloodshot eyes with aching heart, softly coaxing: "Do you want to rest for a while? You look very tired."

During this time, Shen Ci often woke up countless times in his sleep, and the first thing upon waking was to find my position.

Once when he was asleep, I floated out, and when I returned home, I saw Shen Ci frantically searching for me everywhere in the house.

He kept calling my name.

My heart ached as I floated to his side, only then calming him down.

From then on, I never left after Shen Ci fell asleep.

16

On the day I realized I was about to leave, I had Shen Ci burn all the new dresses for me.

I wore the new dress and spun around in front of him, just like before, lifting the hem and curtsying to him.

"Does it look good?"

He said it looked good, but those eyes seriously watching me grew redder and redder.

I floated to the cardboard box, squatted down, and showed Shen Ci a smile.

"Shen Ci, let's open it together."

That box had never been opened since Shen Ci brought it home.

He had preserved it well in a corner, quickening his steps every time he passed by.

As if this could escape reality.

"Okay."

Shen Ci agreed with red eyes.

He sat cross-legged on the floor, carefully opening the cardboard box with scissors.

I propped my face against his side, watching him take things out.

The first item was a letter.

The envelope had yellowed with the passage of time.

Shen Ci carefully pulled the paper from inside.

The teenage me inside had clumsily filled it with Shen Ci's name.

"When was this from?"

Shen Ci asked me with a choked voice.

"This was when I was sixteen. I had just discovered I liked you then. After dazing off in class, I realized my hand had unconsciously filled the draft paper with your name."

I smiled somewhat proudly, my eyes souring.

"Shen Ci, you always said I lose interest quickly, but look, from sixteen until now, I still love you very much."

Shen Ci raised his hand to shield his eyes, but the scalding tears still couldn't be stopped, dripping onto the draft paper along his chin.

His lips trembled, pulling out an ugly smile.

"Fang Ran, I will love you forever too."

17

The second item was an unfinished accordion book.

It was covered with our photos, and on the black paper, words were densely written with acrylic paint pens.

I leaned against Shen Ci, watching him slowly turn page after page.

Past memories replayed scene after scene as the pages turned.

The teenage Shen Ci was green and clean, always smiling shyly in my lens.

The twenty-year-old Shen Ci was young and handsome, the year we got together.

I originally thought we would be together for a lifetime.

Unfortunately, human destiny is rarely controlled by oneself, and many unavoidable things always suddenly arrive.

All of Shen Ci's and my memories stopped at twenty-three.

The accordion book still had half its blank space left to depict, with scattered photos in a corner of the box.

"I'll leave the remaining part to you."

Shen Ci nodded very slowly.

He lowered his hand to pick up that pile of photos, but his hands were shaking too much, unable to pick them up.

"Why can't I pick them up..."

"Why can't I pick them up..."

The photos were picked up and dropped by Shen Ci, several even falling directly to the ground.

Shen Ci subconsciously pounced toward the ground, directly knocking over the box.

Photos scattered all over the floor.

A stuffed animal also rolled out from the box.

It was a West Highland White Terrier puppy stuffed animal with red-framed glasses.

Shen Ci blankly picked up the stuffed animal, turned to look at me painfully, his voice trembling severely.

"I know this one."

His fingers slowly landed on the puppy's hat.

"Shen Ci."

I called out to him.

His hand paused, looking up at me.

"If it were before, I would have looked forward to you receiving this gift, but now I hope you never see it."

Shen Ci's breathing grew heavier, his Adam's apple rolled, his voice choked.

"It's okay."

Shen Ci's fingers lightly flicked, the hat popped open, revealing a pair of silver rings inside.

The workmanship was rough, the engraved words crooked.

Shen Ci's face streamed with tears, his voice dry and sad.

"A Ran, your craftsmanship is still so poor."

I leaned in, making a hugging motion.

"I can't help it, my hands are too clumsy."

Shen Ci took one ring and put it on his left ring finger, and the other on his right ring finger.

"But this is the most precious gift I've received."

He lowered his head and respectfully placed a kiss on the ring, like a pious believer closing his eyes.

I accompanied him as he looked through the items in the box one by one.

When he finished looking at the last item, a breeze suddenly arose in the room.

My body slowly faded, finally turning into countless light spots gathering around Shen Ci.

The light spots landed on his face, on his lips.

I thought, this could be considered as having kissed him.

Male Lead's Perspective

1

(First day after Fang Ran left.)

A Ran, I went to visit the old director.

Her health has gotten much worse. She also asked why you didn't come.

I told her you had gone far away.

She didn't ask again.

I saw a little girl at the orphanage who looks very much like you.

She's just like you, always sitting alone on the swing, dazing off, her little head不知道在想什么.

When receiving gifts, she always lines up last, only coming forward to take them when no one is left.

When looking at people, she always smiles with narrowed eyes.

She's so much like you.

If we had a child, they would probably be like this too.

2

(Second day after Fang Ran left.)

I subconsciously talked to the air again.

What should I do, A Ran.

I think I can't change it anymore.

Sometimes I think, are you still by my side, just that I can't see you.

If that's really the case, then life seems hopeful again.

3

(First month after Fang Ran left.)

The company's business has moved back from overseas.

Someone once asked me why I developed in Country M, I said it was because the development environment was good.

Actually, that's not true.

At that time, I thought you were in Country M.

I had thought, would I happen to run into you on the street.

If I met you, what would be the first thing to say?

So I sat in the office letting my imagination run wild.

Finally, the more I thought, the angrier I got.

Angry that you gave up on me just like that.

Then angry at myself for being so useless, still thinking of you even now.

Speaking of which, why haven't you appeared in my dreams yet.

I don't even know if you have enough money to spend.

I heard there's inflation in the underworld paper money. I folded many gold ingots for you.

4

(Second month after Fang Ran left.)

I rented a plot of land near the cemetery.

It's filled with hydrangea seeds.

Early next summer, you can see a vast sea of blue flowers.

A Ran, you said the flower language of hydrangeas is reunion.

Then when the hydrangeas bloom next year, can I see you one more time?

5

(First year after Fang Ran left.)

Cheng Suqing got married.

I attended her wedding.

I don't know why, even though I stood very far away, the bouquet still fell into my arms.

The host egged me on to use the bouquet to propose and confess.

So I laughed and showed the ring on my ring finger.

The whole room erupted in cheers.

Only Cheng Suqing's eyes turned red.

Sometimes I'm quite glad that someone still remembers you.

When leaving, she handed me a camera.

She said this was a belated gift.

I carefully carried the camera home.

Opening the camera, I found it was empty inside, with only one video.

(Video content)

【The camera shakes and loses focus, only focusing on the thin girl on the hospital bed after a moment.

From outside the lens came Cheng Suqing's voice—

"Fang Ran, this is the new camera I bought. You're lucky to be the first person photographed. What are your thoughts?"

The girl turned back, revealing a shy smile.

"Then I wish Miss Cheng a speedy rise to become a world-famous photographer."

They laughed and teased each other for a bit, then Fang Ran suddenly coughed a few times.

Cheng Suqing immediately leaned over in concern, and the lens darkened accordingly.

"It's okay."

Fang Ran's weak voice came from the darkness.

When the picture could be seen again, Fang Ran had already closed her eyes, leaning weakly against the headboard with no energy.

The camera shook again, and a few seconds later came Cheng Suqing's somewhat hesitant voice.

"Fang Ran, is there anything you want to say to Shen Ci?"

Fang Ran slowly opened her eyes, looked toward the window outside, and after a moment shook her head.

Cheng Suqing said again:

"Ah, I might not necessarily show it to him, I just want to keep it as a memory."

The gentle sunlight passed through the window and landed on Fang Ran, with leaf shadows and light spots hitting her face, blurring her expression.

She was silent for a long time.

Just as Cheng Suqing was about to give up, Fang Ran spoke.

Her tone was flat, her face serene.

"I don't know if you'll be able to see this video when you do, but by the time you see it, I'll probably be gone already."

"Perhaps it's a bit late, but Shen Ci, congratulations on your successful surgery."

"It's sunny here where I am now, I'm sunbathing, feeling warm all over, very sleepy."

"You remember to sunbathe more too, don't always stay at home or in the office working. Take good care of yourself."

"What season is it there now?"

"Spring? Then you should eat more vegetables and fruits, exercise more. You always catch colds easily in spring."

"If it's summer, then drink more water. The doctor said eight glasses a day, and you never like drinking water."

"Or autumn? Did you go see the phoenix tree leaves? Are they beautiful?"

"Or winter? Then you should wear more clothes. Don't be vain. Your body now isn't like before. You need to take good care of yourself."

Fang Ran coughed a few more times, then opened her mouth but no sound came out.

As if her thoughts had been interrupted by the coughing, she fell silent again.

After a long while, she revealed a dry smile.

"Seems there's nothing much else to say, then I'll just wish you happiness and joy, peace and safety."

At this point, the camera was already shaking badly, a drop of water fell on the lens.

Fang Ran in the lens instantly blurred, and the next second, the video ended.】

6

A Ran.

It's June now, already summer.

The surgery was very successful, with no rejection reactions. It's as suitable as if it grew from my own body.

I rarely get sick in spring now, I exercise every day, my three meals are arranged by a nutritionist, very healthy.

No matter what season it is now, I drink a lot of water, don't worry.

I went to see the phoenix trees alone before, they're beautiful. Next time I'll show you.

Both the company and home have heating in winter, with the temperature maintained around twenty degrees, very warm.

You definitely wouldn't think that four years after you left, we met again.

You're still wearing that dress, washed so white it's faded.

I regret not buying you better ones.

You've lost so much weight. I placed so much food for you and fed you, but you just can't gain weight.

You told me to take good care of my health, but you're the one who needs to take care of your health.

Sigh.

Fortunately, I only saw this video after you left.

Otherwise, I would have cried in front of you again.

Too embarrassing.

Now it's the first year after you left me again.

You said you hope I'm happy and joyful, safe and sound.

I think I can only guarantee you safety.

After losing you, I lost the ability to feel happiness.

A Ran.

Don't wish me happiness and joy anymore.

You should wish that we'll meet and fall in love in our next life.

7

(Second summer after Fang Ran left.)

Liar.

The hydrangeas have bloomed and fallen, why haven't you appeared yet?

8

(Can't remember how many years after Fang Ran left)

On an ordinary afternoon, I arrived in Lhasa.

The Tibetan people are simple and enthusiastic, the mountains and rivers magnificent and shocking.

I bought a prayer wheel at a street-side shop.

Under colorful prayer flags, I knelt and kowtowed my way to the Jokhang Temple.

I've already lost count of how many times the prayer wheel has turned.

I piously knelt to nature, knelt to the Buddha statue.

Colorful wind horse papers随风飘扬在高远广阔的天空。

At this moment, I only pray that we still have a next life.

A Ran.

I love you forever.